Some researchers spend their lives working on equations to capture aspects of human behaviour. To be worth anything, the numbers – whether an equation or a ratio – has to be able to predict future, most likely behaviour.
Here are a couple of ratios that I find not only theoretically interesting but also beneficial in order to help us live better, less painful lives:
1) Through years of study, Barbara Fredrickson, a social psychologist, has determined that to flourish and thrive in life rather than just getting by and surviving, we need a positivity ration of 3 to 1 (or 2.9013 : 1 to be exact). That means that for every difficult situation we encounter, we need to experience at least three positive situations to feel good.
2) In intimate relationships, John and Julie Gottman (yes, a husband and wife team) have demonstrated that for a close relationship to thrive, we need five positive, loving interactions for every one negative interaction. In other words, a ratio of 5 to 1.
3) Another psychologist, Marcial Losada, has worked out that in the corporate world, high performing teams have a positivity ratio of 6 to 1, which means that for every difficult, conflict-fueled interaction there needs to be six productive, pleasant encounters for a team to perform at optimal levels.
I think that these ratios are helpful as a reminder to make an effort to have as many nice, supportive and loving encounters with other people as possible and to be conscious of trying to set up our lives in a way that optimize the possibility of positive things happening. We all want to thrive rather than just survive and these ratios point out some of what is needed in order for that to happen.
So, go on: seek out a pleasant encounter with someone. It will benefit everyone involved.