So a new year has started and no doubt many New Year’s resolutions are in the process right now (or in the very near future) of being broken. There is something about the beginning of a new year (and in this case the start of a new decade) that lends itself to new beginnings. It made me reflect on what would be some of the most helpful things I believe that we can do to… well make a new beginning and let go of some of the stuff that has tortured us in the past.
One thing that I often suggest in therapy and which, to my surprise, is rarely taken up by clients is journaling. There are several reasons why I believe that journaling can be a very powerful tool for self-transformation. First and foremost it is something I personally find very helpful in processing and problem solving challenging experiences. This is backed up by research studies, which have shown that writing about a difficult life event can increase our sense of well being and lowering physiological arousal. Why? Well, for one thing writing about something forces us to define it (the first step in structured problem solving). We need to “name the beast” in order for us to know what we’re dealing with. All too often a problem or an uncomfortable emotion remain vague and our thinking seems to stop with “this is awful and I can’t deal with it”. This, of course, is bound to cause anxiety. Second, I believe that journaling makes us better at not only recognising emotions but also to name them. A surprising number of people find it difficult to name nuances of emotions. “I feel bad” do not tell me a lot. Is it bad-frustrated, -sad, -angry, -shameful, -rejected, -vulnerable, -defective? Third, writing in a journal about what is happening psychologically is in essence a mindfulness exercise where we’re forced to pay attention to what is happening to us and (hopefully) write it down in an accepting, non-judgmental way. This is especially helpful if someone (and this is more common that you may think) have spent a good deal of his or her life avoiding feeling powerful emotions. Finally, I believe that journaling can provide a nice “bridge” between the therapy sessions and life on “the outside”.
So for those of you who want to try this here are a few hints:
- Try to keep it short so that you have a bigger chance of keeping it up. (It’s a bit like exercise – if we start by running for 40 minutes and we can’t walk for 3 days afterwards we usually just give it up). Of course if something major has happened you can write more about that.
- Make it emotionally relevant (that is, write about things that had an emotional impact on you). It is not going to progress your psychological development by just recording where you went and when.
- Try to list a few things that you have enjoyed each day. Research has shown that people who focus on the good things in life generally feel better. That figures! But it also seems that the human mind has a predisposition towards focusing on negative aspects (this probably has an evolutionary aspect) so the mind needs a little “nudging” to balance its’ bias toward the negative. Earth shattering positive events do not happen to every individual every day (including me unfortunately) so the list will be largely made of small things like: had lunch with a friend; enjoyed sitting in the sun reading a book, got a nice email, got a big kiss from my son etc. Try to have at least 3 points on your list every day.
So, come on…why not give it a go?