Love and loss

For those of us who have experienced loss of a loved one, this time of year can be particularly difficult. Alongside the fun and excitement of the holiday season often comes a reminder of love lost.

Perhaps we can take comfort in the line from Dylan Thomas’ poem And Death Shall Have no Dominion: “Though lovers be lost love shall not”

So whether you have lost a parent, a partner, sibling, lover, best friend or child, life will give you an opportunity to form new, loving connections. Of course they can never replace the person you have lost. A part of your heart will always belong to your loved one. As a friend of mine once told me: “You have your own parking spot in my heart and when you’re not around that spot is empty – no one else can park there”. Less poetic than Dylan Thomas, perhaps, but sweet nonetheless.

We can lose people though death, of course, but also through physical distance, bad timing, conflict or break ups. We can lose love either by a voluntary act (someone leaves) or involuntary (someone dies). Some relationships lasts a lifetime and others a only few weeks. Losing love hurts but it is the price we pay for having loved and the greater pain, I believe, lies in not being brave enough to love.  However, if we have the courage we can open ourselves up to love and given that science is now starting to truly grasp our nature as creatures that are wired to connect, isn’t that what life’s really about?

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