Our inability to accept our lives the way they are is a major source of suffering. I have presented many of you with this formula:

Reality + Resistance = Suffering

If we get rid of the Resistance (which is always futile in the end), we automatically get rid of the Suffering and we’re left with Reality. The reality of our situation can be great (when things are going well) or difficult (when they’re not) but reality is what it is. When we accept that, we stop wasting time and energy on what is in the end a losing battle.

After all, reality is what it is.

That is true acceptance.

It is important to note that acceptance does not mean resignation or succumbing to hopelessness. We can accept our life and still work towards changing the things that we feel need to be changed.

One of the most powerful accounts of acceptance that I’ve come across, is in Victor Frankl’s “Man’s search for meaning”. Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist from Vienna who spent 3 years in the Nazi concentration camps (including Auschwitz). He lost his wife, brother and both parents in the camps. Because he was a doctor, he was put in charge of typhus patients many of whom died because of the appalling conditions. One day Frankl decided to escape with a fellow prisoner. They had planned the escape meticulously when:

“The unpleasant feeling that had gripped me as soon as I had told my friend I would escape with him became more intense. Suddenly I decided to take fate into my own hands for once. I ran out of the hut and told my friend that I could not go with him. As soon as I had told him with finality that I had made up my mind to stay with my patients, the unhappy feeling left me. I did not know what the following days would bring, but I had gained an inward peace that I had never experienced before.”

In true acceptance freedom can be found.

Even in a concentration camp.