As a parent, I’ve been spent some time reflecting on – if I had the choice – I would want my children to have no difficulties in life. Of course, the maternal, protective part of me goes: “Absolutely! I want them to have nothing but fun and ease”. However, the wiser part of me thinks: “No, I want them to become kind, compassionate, courageous, resilient and wise human beings”. Because the truth is that when things are good we don’t grow psychologically. Why would we? Things are just fine, thank you very much.
It’s when we experience loss, anxiety, heartache, rejection, depression, overwhelm, failure and abandonment that we have the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and then – by extension – about human existence in general.
It is important, however, to be aware that difficulties do not necessarily lead to growth. Rather, a fork opens up in front of us where we can either learn from our experiences and become wiser and kinder or we can close down and become more entitled, bitter and self-absorbed.
Difficulties in life are of course, as rightly pointed out by the Buddha, inevitable. We don’t need to seek them out – they will find us. It’s how we chose to react to them that will define who we are and who we become.
The choice is up to each of us.