How to be an existentialist

Have you ever noticed how fate/ the universe/ perceptual biases/ the goddess/ luck/ coincidence or whatever it is that rules these things, make things pop up everywhere just as you start to become interested in them?

Well, lately I’ve been pondering: 1) why it is that psychology is not paying more attention to what philosophy has to say. In particular existential philosophers such as Sartre, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer and Kierkegaard who were  interested in the human condition and who had some very insightful and helpful things to say. 2) Why philosophy has locked itself up in intellectual ivory towers using words such as “phenomenological” and “ontological” that are downright scary to most people, and thereby ensuring that philosophy has very little impact on real life.  Which makes even less sense when you consider that the goal of philosophy has always been to understand life.

So, because of fate, the universe, perceptual biases or whatever, I came across one of the best books I’ve read this year. It’s called: “How to be an Existentialist: or how to get real, get a grip and stop making excuses”, by Gary Cox

Of course the title intrigued me straight away, but I also became interested because of what it said on the backcover: “existentialism holds that you can only truly change the way you think and feel about your life by behaving differently, by acting rather than reacting, by asserting your will rather than simply allowing yourself to be swept along circumstances, by always taking responsibility for yourself and what you do.”

I liked the sound of that.

I’m big on responsibility because we don’t change if all we do is blame other people or circumstances for the mess we’re in. In essence, no therapy without responsibility.

This was a book that proclaimed to be: “a genuine self-help book offering clear advice on how to live according to the principles of existentialism.”

It also turned out be hilariously funny and refreshingly un-PC. This is some of  what Cox had to say about responsibility: “ …a life of maximum responsibility and minimum excuses. Or would you rather aspire to be a whinging, irresponsible slob? There is a surprisingly large amount of public funding available for people with the latter aspiration.”

So to give you a little taste of this book this is part of what it says on the front cover: “Many people have the silly idea, gleaned from movies, adverts and glossy magazines, that life is perfectible. The idea that other people out there somewhere have achieved the perfect life. So, they feel dissatisfied with the life they have or even downright cheated out of the life they think they deserve but don’t have, the life that no one has. They yearn for a life of perfect happiness that is impossible, while failing to take control of the life they do have and make it more rewarding through decisive, realistic action. “

This book may not be for everyone. But if you, like me, have a nerdy streak and are interested in existential philosophy then you’ll probably enjoy this book.

I did.