Human beings don\u2019t like to change.<\/p>\n
Or maybe more precisely, we feel ambivalent about change \u2013 even when it\u2019s seemingly for the better. For example, research tells us that we\u2019re more likely to become depressed when we experience divorce, loss of job, the death of a loved one, or the children moving out of home.\u00a0 This will not come as a surprise to most people. However, what may be more unexpected are the research findings showing that we\u2019re also more likely to become depressed after we get a promotion, get married, have a child, or move house. So it seems that change makes us vulnerable to become depressed \u2013 even if the change is positive.<\/p>\n
As a therapist, I observe people\u2019s mixed feeling about change all the time: on the one hand people come and see me because they want to stop feeling confused, sad, depressed, anxious, angry or lost and they want to stop doing things that hurt themselves or other people. They\u2019re looking for change. On the other hand, however, people often feel nervous about changing because it is, essentially, a journey into the unknown.<\/p>\n
The Danish philosopher, Kierkegaard, wrote: \u201cIn addition to my numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known \u2013 no wonder, then, that I return the love\u201d.<\/p>\n
Basically, better the devil you know\u2026<\/p>\n
Our tendency to prefer the familiar and our preference to keep doing what we\u2019ve always done, is explained in neuroscience as the brain being guided by \u201cthe principle of consistency\u201d. According to this theory, the brain is an expensive organ to run: although the brain accounts for less than 2% of a person\u2019s weight, it consumes 20% of the body\u2019s energy. Staying the way you are (i.e., maintaining the same neuronal pathways) is energy efficient whereas change requires effort and energy.<\/p>\n
What all of this means, is that I would expect you to feel conflicted about coming to see me. I acknowledge that it takes courage to walk through my doors: not only do you tell your darkest secrets to another human being that you \u2013 at least in the beginning \u2013 hardly know but you also open yourself up to the possibility of change.<\/p>\n
I admire that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Human beings don\u2019t like to change. Or maybe more precisely, we feel ambivalent about change \u2013 even when it\u2019s seemingly for the better. For example, research tells us that we\u2019re more likely to become depressed when we experience divorce, loss … Continue reading