Love is an interesting phenomenon. It is one of the few things that I\u2019ve come across that the more you give the more you have. With most other things like for instance time, energy and money the more you give away you the less you have left over.<\/p>\n
Not so with love. For example, you have a child and you love him 100%. Then you have another child and it\u2019s not as if there is no love leftover for her. No, you love her 100% as well. Plus all the other people (and possible animals) in your life that you also love: your partner, your parents (maybe), siblings, friends, patients, colleagues, uncles, aunties, pets, grandparents etc.<\/p>\n
In the field of psychology we\u2019re not allowed to talk about love. For some reason it makes many psychologists acutely uncomfortable and so we have invented strange and clinical sounding terms such as unconditional positive regard, a strong therapeutic alliance or a good therapeutic relationship.<\/p>\n
The late psychiatrist Henry Stack Sullivan wrote: \u201cWhen the satisfaction or the security of another person become as significant to one as one\u2019s own satisfaction or security, then the state of love exists. Under no other circumstances is a state of love present, regardless of the popular usage of the term.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n And who hasn\u2019t stayed up all night with a sick child although your body was screaming for sleep, gone to an event with your partner that you didn\u2019t enjoy but it was important to him, taken a phone call from a friend in need at an inopportune time, seen a patients even though you didn\u2019t feel quite up to it, helped a trusted colleague although it made you run late etc? Sacrificing one\u2019s own needs for the needs of someone else is an expression of love I believe.<\/p>\n So love comes in many forms and degrees, it expresses itself differently in different situations but it all comes from the same source. I think that the most important (side) effect of therapy is to make people better at giving and receiving love.<\/p>\n And happily there is enough for everyone\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Love is an interesting phenomenon. It is one of the few things that I\u2019ve come across that the more you give the more you have. With most other things like for instance time, energy and money the more you give … Continue reading