This week I spend a couple of days attending a presentation on the effects of\u00a0 early attachment on brain and nervous system development and how this may influence later interpersonal difficulties.<\/p>\n
Very interesting stuff. No doubt many of you will hear me say something about that over the coming months.<\/p>\n
The presenter had us all laughing when he said:\u201d If it\u2019s not one thing it\u2019s your mother\u201d<\/strong> I guess it\u2019s the type of humour you would expect when you put 200 therapists together.<\/p>\n But it made me think that this may be a good time to reiterate something that comes up regularly in session: the role of\u00a0 – not only mothers –\u00a0 but parents in general.<\/p>\n Some people come to therapy thinking that talking for an hour a week about all the wrong they have suffered at the hands of their parents will make them better.\u00a0 It won\u2019t.<\/p>\n Many of you (being the nice people that you are) feel tense when telling me about your childhood and your parents because you don\u2019t want to betray or blame them. And it is important to note that therapy is not <\/strong>about blaming patents because blame keeps us stuck in our problem.<\/p>\n We talk about our childhood experiences and our relationships with our parents in order to gain a better understand of why we\u2019re having some of the difficulties that we are. But there\u2019s a big difference between seeking an explanation or seeking someone to blame.<\/p>\n Blame is not only unhelpful and keeps us from taking responsibility for what\u2019s going on in our lives right now but \u2013 in my experience \u2013 most parents try their best. When parents do a poor job it is often due to their own trauma or difficult experiences.<\/p>\n Just a reminder that I\u2019ll be away for the next 6 weeks. Please don\u2019t text me as I won\u2019t have my phone with me. You\u2019re welcome to send me an email (I can\u2019t promise how quickly I\u2019ll get back to you).<\/p>\n Stay well till we catch up again\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This week I spend a couple of days attending a presentation on the effects of\u00a0 early attachment on brain and nervous system development and how this may influence later interpersonal difficulties. Very interesting stuff. No doubt many of you will … Continue reading